Who am I?
There’s a hell of a question, eh? I haven’t slept in a while, so don’t expect much from this page. I’m Ryan Carlyle. I go to school at Mizzou in Columbia, Missouri. I like climbing trees, chemical engineering, and having all the right tools. My arrogance and my insecurities are locked in a never-ending struggle for dominance. I know everything and believe nothing. I aim to please.
I was born lucky. I’ve been given almost every possible advantage along the way, and I’m incapable of failure. Nothing ever sticks. Sure, I’ve messed up, and spectacularly at that — but contingency plans and recovery strategies always kick in, and everything goes back to normal. Sometimes there’s a scar in whatever literal or metaphorical sense you care for, but usually not. Sometimes I learn something from the ordeal, but usually not.
Being invincible seems great at first, but people need challenge and they need the threat of failure or there’s no motive to try at all. People need conflict and I’m fortunate enough to need to look for it within. Life doesn’t seem to offer much resistance so I handicap myself. I’ll admit I’m self-destructive. I am not merely my own worst enemy; I am my only enemy. I am a glutton for punishment.
I’m working two part-time jobs drowning in homework, playing a leadership role in a volunteer organization on campus, and attending about three classes a week. Include time for my girlfriend, people-watching, and putting the odd bit of effort into my projects, and I’m not left with much free time. I used to be a Warcraft addict. I don’t have time these days. I used to sleep a lot. I don’t have time these days.
That’s me at a (searching) glance. I don’t edit this page often, so I can’t really promise its accuracy in minutiae. I change my outlook on life pretty frequently, so I definitely don’t promise its accuracy in introspection. Take it as you will.