03.29.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing, Insightful... at 10:32 pm by tempo502
I wonder how many things my mind’s dissected, taken apart, been inside. I’ve got this maddening drive to see every angle of every concept. Sometimes that means getting into the very core of it, and sometimes that means finding a remote vantage point from which to see the whole. I pride myself in acquiring pieces of knowledge to tie together to form some monstrous web of ideas and relations. It’s part of me. That web is a piece of who I am, and I love how it catches most every morsel of the world flitting by.
Sometimes though, it’s utterly draining. I see interconnected layers and unifying principles every I go. I can never give a complex question a simple answer. I can always give a simple question a complicated answer. Nothing is straightforward — there are useful simplifications, but always a deeper truth that no one has time to hear.
I wish there were easier ways to turn off this relentless searching, combining, analyzing, memorizing. Restless speculation has kept me awake at night for as long as I can remember. As a simple survival strategy, I’ve had to structure my life and my time around exhausting myself before it’s time to sleep. I don’t always succeed, but alcohol helps a lot. I suspect there’s some existential masochism in there as well. What is a vodka tonic, ultimately, but an attempt to put away the most lucid part of yourself? What is a white russian, really, but a blanket with which to smother one’s own humanity?
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03.25.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 9:16 pm by tempo502
I don’t know why I bother posting here. I don’t think anyone reads it.
With the possible exception of my mother. Hi, Mom.
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03.21.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 2:50 pm by tempo502
This chart here says you’re all fucked up. You talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded.
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03.16.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 10:21 pm by tempo502
But you can’t see it here. Clicky!
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03.09.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 4:09 am by tempo502
I miss college a little.
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03.01.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 11:16 pm by tempo502
Yeah, well. Ok.
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Posted in Everything/Nothing at 5:26 pm by tempo502
Let every wall contain a memory; my home shall reflect my mind as I reside alone in both. Every corner a function and every space half-filled by the tools — but not the motivation — to realize my dreams. This is my home. This is where I live. I live.
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02.09.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 10:14 pm by tempo502
I just want to create something. Is that so wrong?
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01.18.09
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 1:27 am by tempo502
I’m only human.
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11.06.08
Posted in Everything/Nothing at 4:33 pm by tempo502
I guess it’s pretty appropriate that, just as I was thinking about how smart I am — “It’s not even fair for my classmates to have to compete against me” — I should accidentally smack my forehead against a piece of furniture. Big heads run into things a lot more often, I guess.
If I’m so freakin’ smart, why do I keep walloping myself on the noggin with stationary objects? I might wear a hardhat at work (no harm, no foul) but in my hotel room? It hurts.
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